growth

I was thinking this morning about my younger self, wondering what she’d make of who I am today.
What would she make of the creases around my eyes? My mummy tummy? What would she think about me as a mother? A wife? What the hell would she say about me being a psychologist and entrepreneur?
I can’t tell you what prompted these vague wonderings, only the feeling they evoked. Pride.
The twist is, what I felt wasn’t pride for who I am now and what I’ve achieved, it was a warm gentle pride towards my younger self. How brave she was. How independent.
And then a wash of gratitude to her.
I may no longer be the professional actor I once was. I miss it so much, but my life is a million miles away from that these days. But I have carried that independent, young-artist streak well into my “grown-up-ness”. And thank god for that!
That independence allowed me to u-turn to university at the “old” age of 25. It afforded me to frequently raise a middle finger at those who didn’t believe in me. It pushed me to pursue the less-well-trodden path.
Entrepreneurs need to be a bit free-thinking and creative. They need to be able to withstand criticism and those who would whisper “surely not” and “who does she think she is”. We need to be visionaries, of a sort.
Entrepreneurs need to learn to fall and rise and fall again. Just like actors, really.
When I was young and wild and free, how marvellous it felt, that strength I unconsciously drew on. The strength to withstand my tendency towards people-pleasing, to withstand my own doubts, my need for approval. The strength to take risks and to learn from mistakes. The strength to be creative.
What a marvellous, strong, courageous young woman she was!
I’m grateful to her for her strength and courage. I carry it with me still, it’s what drives me to show up and take risks and to help you on your business journey.
I may be a lot “straighter” now than she thought I’d be, but I think we’d get along famously, she and me. And I know she’d laugh if in the end I didn’t give a fuck whether she approved or not … and for that she’d be proud of me!
Don’t be afraid to tap into the many facets of who you are, or who you’ve been. They make up the fabulous mirror ball that is you!
Much love,
Tess x

 

Shame doesn’t become you!

I can’t sleep, so rather than lie here and fret about tomorrow’s lockdown update, I am playing with the idea of shamelessness. As you do.

If shame is SUCH an awful feeling (which it is!), when did it become such a bad thing to be shameLESS?

I’m reminded of past experiences where others tried to shame me, tried to make me feel shameful. It worked for about five minutes, then I made a conscious, deliberate decision to be defiant in the face of shame.

This became a standard strategy and has helped me explore and grow. I called it defiance at the time, but it was really a constant striving for shamelessness.

We all have memories of past behaviour that we’re embarrassed by ... hello tequila, I’m looking at you ... or memories of harsh criticism from others that left us feeling small. The feelings are prickly, and sometimes we let them stick to us like buzzy burrs stick to our socks.

But we mustn’t let them.

Shame is wasted on you. Because you are not shameful. Your efforts are valiant. Even if they sometimes don’t work out the way you planned.

Don’t let shame grab your ankle when you’re trying something new. Don’t let it keep you small, hidden, afraid.

Shame is wasted on you.

Shame doesn’t become you.

Embrace shamelessness! Embrace your daring, your courage, your innovation.

You are brave.
You are bold.
You are shameless!

Much love,
Tess x

Flourish-5
tess-bw-1

Dr Tess Crawley

Tess is an Australian clinical and forensic psychologist with over 20 years' experience in such diverse areas as community mental health, the prison system, perinatal mental health, university lecturing, and private practice.

Tess has a PhD in clinical psychology, has published one business-related book and is in the midst of writing a second. She is also a former actor, which some say explains a lot! In fact, she met her husband of 30+ years while they were involved in a Melbourne stage production of Macbeth (also explains a lot!).

Flourish-5

As business owners we often expect ourselves to know everything at once. Worse, we fear that everyone else expects us to know everything too.

You know it’s unreasonable, but still you hold yourself to this unattainable standard.

How about this? What if, instead of expecting ourselves to be know-it-alls, we encouraged ourselves to be learn-it-alls?

And no I don’t mean know-it-alls-in-training.

Allow yourself to say “I don’t know”.

Give yourself permission to say “let me find out and get back to you”.
Invest in yourself and your business by getting some business coaching.

By openly being a constant learner (rather than trying to be the mythical all-knower), we model a growth mindset to our team members. And this helps them to acknowledge their own knowledge gaps and find ways to fill them.

So lighten up and give yourself room to grow. Adopting a learner stance is a big step towards building a healthy CEO mindset!

Much love,
Tess x

Flourish-5
tess-bw-1

Dr Tess Crawley

Tess is an Australian clinical and forensic psychologist with over 20 years' experience in such diverse areas as community mental health, the prison system, perinatal mental health, university lecturing, and private practice.

Tess has a PhD in clinical psychology, has published one business-related book and is in the midst of writing a second. She is also a former actor, which some say explains a lot! In fact, she met her husband of 30+ years while they were involved in a Melbourne stage production of Macbeth (also explains a lot!).

Flourish-5

You're avoiding putting yourself out there!

You and I both know that social media is the way forward for your business to get noticed, which in turn means business growth.

You and I also know that you're avoiding putting yourself out there on social media for all of the "reasons".

The truth is that it's fear that holds you back.

Fear of criticism, fear of making a fool of yourself, fear of stuffing up, fear of having nothing good to say.

You need to stop that crap.

Stop letting your self-esteem and self-criticism get in the way of strategic decisions.

Stop letting fear prevent you from growing both in business and as a business owner. Even as a human being.

Growth means change, change is scary and hard.

But you can do scary and hard things.

I know this cos you're a business owner. You're already doing scary and hard things.

Now get out there!

Flourish-5
tess-bw-1

Dr Tess Crawley

Tess is an Australian clinical and forensic psychologist with over 20 years' experience in such diverse areas as community mental health, the prison system, perinatal mental health, university lecturing, and private practice.

Tess has a PhD in clinical psychology, has published one business-related book and is in the midst of writing a second. She is also a former actor, which some say explains a lot! In fact, she met her husband of 30+ years while they were involved in a Melbourne stage production of Macbeth (also explains a lot!).

Flourish-5