Shame doesn’t become you!
I can’t sleep, so rather than lie here and fret about tomorrow’s lockdown update, I am playing with the idea of shamelessness. As you do.
If shame is SUCH an awful feeling (which it is!), when did it become such a bad thing to be shameLESS?
I’m reminded of past experiences where others tried to shame me, tried to make me feel shameful. It worked for about five minutes, then I made a conscious, deliberate decision to be defiant in the face of shame.
This became a standard strategy and has helped me explore and grow. I called it defiance at the time, but it was really a constant striving for shamelessness.
We all have memories of past behaviour that we’re embarrassed by ... hello tequila, I’m looking at you ... or memories of harsh criticism from others that left us feeling small. The feelings are prickly, and sometimes we let them stick to us like buzzy burrs stick to our socks.
But we mustn’t let them.
Shame is wasted on you. Because you are not shameful. Your efforts are valiant. Even if they sometimes don’t work out the way you planned.
Don’t let shame grab your ankle when you’re trying something new. Don’t let it keep you small, hidden, afraid.
Shame is wasted on you.
Shame doesn’t become you.
Embrace shamelessness! Embrace your daring, your courage, your innovation.
You are brave.
You are bold.
You are shameless!
Much love,
Tess x
Dr Tess Crawley
Tess is an Australian clinical and forensic psychologist with over 20 years' experience in such diverse areas as community mental health, the prison system, perinatal mental health, university lecturing, and private practice.
Tess has a PhD in clinical psychology, has published one business-related book and is in the midst of writing a second. She is also a former actor, which some say explains a lot! In fact, she met her husband of 30+ years while they were involved in a Melbourne stage production of Macbeth (also explains a lot!).