31 July 2021
Many of you are in Lockdown right now, but whether you’re in lockdown or not, I know many of you, like me, are business owners wondering what the impact of this rolling chaos will be.
And many of you, like me, are separated from family and friends because of border closures, restrictions, or lockdowns.
Like me, I bet you have days where the sadness weighs down on your shoulders. Days where the tears just roll silently down your cheeks. Days where you feel suffocated by the seemingly unending stifling of our lives. Days where fear for older family members takes your breath away.
And some of you have already lost loved ones. Lost businesses. Lost jobs.
We’re all losing so very much. But we’re also trying so hard to keep our smiles bright and our chins up. And like me, you no doubt have days where the sun is shining and you can’t imagine why you felt so bad yesterday.
It’s a rollercoaster. For each of us it’s different, but the same.
It’s okay to call what you’re feeling grief, even if you feel unjustified to use that word. Even if you are “only” afraid of losing something or someone. As a psychologist, I have spoken to many, many people over the years about anticipatory grief.
It’s real.
It’s valid.
It’s okay if that’s what you’re feeling now.
So be gentle with yourself on your sad days. Do what brings you comfort and relief.
Fresh air, sunshine and flowers work for me. For you it might be something else. Calling a friend or watching a comedy.
Don’t let anyone make you wrong for feeling your feelings. They’re yours. They’re real. They’re valid. And, you’re not alone.
Much love,
Tess x
Dr Tess Crawley
Tess is an Australian clinical and forensic psychologist with over 20 years' experience in such diverse areas as community mental health, the prison system, perinatal mental health, university lecturing, and private practice.
Tess has a PhD in clinical psychology, has published one business-related book and is in the midst of writing a second. She is also a former actor, which some say explains a lot! In fact, she met her husband of 30+ years while they were involved in a Melbourne stage production of Macbeth (also explains a lot!).
When I was a kid growing up in Launceston, we didn't have much money. My dad was a carpenter, my step-mother a teacher. We made do, like most other families. On the odd occasion when we did have trips away, it was within an hour's drive and involved me sleeping in an annexe next to my grandmother's caravan or in a noisy tent somewhere cold. Getting there involved much sighing, and me whining "are we there yet?" every five minutes.