Uncategorized

When I was young and wild and free, I faced so much rejection and criticism as an actor and writer. Time and again I stared it down, drawing on some mysterious strength. Withstanding my tendency towards people-pleasing. Standing up to my own doubts, my need for approval.

How brave she was, that younger version of me.

I hope I've carried some of her fire with me into my 50s, even though I'm not the career actor I had hoped to be.

How independent she was.

Her independence allowed me to u-turn to university at the “old” age of 25. It stirred me to raise a middle finger at those who didn’t believe in me. It pushed me to pursue the less-well-trodden path.

In business, as in life generally, we need to be a bit free-thinking and creative sometimes. We need to be able to withstand criticism and those who would whisper “surely not” and “who does she think she is”. We need to learn to rise and fall and rise again. Just like actors, really.

What a marvellous, strong, courageous young woman she was.

These days I’m working towards finding balance. Between my professional life as a psychologist and business coach, and my creative life as a writer. Putting myself in harms way, as writers tend to do. Staring down rejection and criticism again. Done it before, and I will do it again.

I hope my future self will look back at 50s-me with pride and wonder.

“How brave she was”, I hope I’ll say.
Xx

p.s. Photo from rehearsals for The Dumb Waiter by Harold Pinter, which I was loosely involved with. Much love to the play’s stars and much-missed friends David and Carl, my partners in crime back in our Terminal Theatre days.

Tess Be Yourself

Sometimes it feels like there is an awful lot of pressure to do what everyone else is doing on social media. Whether it’s the latest dance trend, the latest audio gag reel, or some other thing, none of those things truly feels like YOU.
(Actually, I have a caveat … if doing all those things IS you, go for gold. Love your style!)

The problem is, for most of us, it’s just not. And what that often leads to is resistance to having an authentic presence online.
My business clients know that they *should* be online so clients, referrers, and future staff can get to know them, but they just shudder at the assumption it means jumping onto social media trends.
I’m here to tell you it ain’t necessarily so … in fact being just your plain old self is much more engaging!

So whether it’s telling stories about what you’re most passionate about in your work, or sharing a hobby, your garden, or your fur babies (yes please!) - it all tells us so much more about you and your personality, which is of course the personality behind your business. And that’s what the people really want - to get to know, like, and trust you - which makes it so much easier to choose you as the service that will best meet their needs.

So let yourself off the hook. And just be yourself.

At heart, all businesses run on the same fuel. Values.

Personal values feed a business's mission. Uncovering these values can help guide every decision we make, from revenue streams to fee structures, marketing to recruitment.

But what if there’s a clash between personal values and the needs of the business?

I see this when our “business hat” comes into conflict with our “caring hat”. I get it. It's hard to balance this sometimes.

Private practice owners are typically hard-working, compassionate and fair-minded. In fact, I’ve NEVER come across a business coaching client who wasn’t. But most reach a point where a vital business decision feels uncomfortable from a values perspective. Whether it’s increasing fees, letting staff go, or simply saying no.

As a business coach, I tend to ask why this decision makes you feel less like the good person you know yourself to be? I ask about your ideal solution. We dive into identifying barriers to achieving that and ways to overcome those barriers - all guided by your values.

It is possible to grow your business AND live within your values. It’s vital, in fact, if you want to survive the stress of business long-term. But that doesn’t mean it comes naturally, which is where engaging a business coach can help.

Business coaching isn’t just about you making more money (although, I’m all for that), or simply focussing on marketing (even though this is important too), it's often about the less tangible things. Like values.

Without understanding what drives us, what feels right in our bones, we risk flying blind. Grabbing random snippets of advice in FB groups, without knowing what will actually work for YOU.

"Daring leaders who live into their values are never silent about hard things" - Brene Brown

We’re back from our summer breaks, but none of the business clients I’ve spoken with this week feel refreshed. No one feels they’ve had a proper summer break. We’re all still tired. Me included.

We’ve seen this before. In 2020, on the back of the bushfires. And again in 2021, on the back of 2020’s shock and awe.
Each of the past three summers everyone has felt their summer relaxation swallowed by worries and a national sense of helplessness.

Each year we swore we’d have a “proper” break at Easter. We could limp along until then. But then we kissed winter holiday plans goodbye and worked through. We promised we’d rest over Christmas.
We dragged ourselves, exhausted, to the finish line of 2021, knowing in the back of our minds that 2022 wouldn’t magically make it all better. But that’s what we told ourselves anyway.

But then Omicron. So we’re still worried and exhausted.
That’s two Christmases we’ve kidded ourselves that summer would fix everything.

So here’s what we’re going to do about it.
1. We are going to simplify business processes and create structured support around us #getacoach
2. We are going to work smarter, not harder (as cliched as that sounds)
3. We are going to schedule REGULAR breaks and TAKE them ... That includes blocking out public holidays (too many of you forget to do this!)
4. We are going to observe and monitor early signs of not coping and ACT on them
5. We are going to take care of our physical AND mental health
6. We are going to seek help when it’s needed, AND accept it when it’s offered
7. We are going to allow ourselves time to just think
8. We will be strategic, not reactive
9. We are going to watch out for each other

Let’s carry the wisdom we gained in 2021 into 2022 and pace ourselves.
Let’s not bullshit ourselves again.
Let’s PLAN rest, PLAN self-care, and PLAN time for working on ourselves and on our businesses. And then let’s follow through on each of those plans.

Just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make these changes.
Take care of yourself and each other.

Much love,
Tess