W
hen I was young and wild and free, I faced so much rejection and criticism as an actor and writer. Time and again I stared it down, drawing on some mysterious strength. Withstanding my tendency towards people-pleasing. Standing up to my own doubts, my need for approval.
How brave she was, that younger version of me.
I hope I've carried some of her fire with me into my 50s, even though I'm not the career actor I had hoped to be.
How independent she was.
Her independence allowed me to u-turn to university at the “old” age of 25. It stirred me to raise a middle finger at those who didn’t believe in me. It pushed me to pursue the less-well-trodden path.
In business, as in life generally, we need to be a bit free-thinking and creative sometimes. We need to be able to withstand criticism and those who would whisper “surely not” and “who does she think she is”. We need to learn to rise and fall and rise again. Just like actors, really.
What a marvellous, strong, courageous young woman she was.
These days I’m working towards finding balance. Between my professional life as a psychologist and business coach, and my creative life as a writer. Putting myself in harms way, as writers tend to do. Staring down rejection and criticism again. Done it before, and I will do it again.
I hope my future self will look back at 50s-me with pride and wonder.
“How brave she was”, I hope I’ll say.
Xx
p.s. Photo from rehearsals for The Dumb Waiter by Harold Pinter, which I was loosely involved with. Much love to the play’s stars and much-missed friends David and Carl, my partners in crime back in our Terminal Theatre days.